Are you triggered by messiness?

It’s said that the space you inhabit influences your mood, thoughts, emotions and habits.  Clutter and mess in your physical space creates clutter and mess in your mind.  The right environment can make you more efficient and focused. I happen to be one of those people who gets triggered by it.  I did not realize the extent of it until I was forced to become a stay at home mom due to covid with all the “perks” that it involves.

I used to work out at a gym, so it was the perfect environment to train and practice some self-care and “ME” time away from home.  But now I had to work out on my own, in my husband’s garage gym and just the idea of it made me cringe.  My husband could care less how the garage looks as long as he could exercise.  Everything needs to be “in order” for me to focus and actually be able to perform.  It was clear that something needed to happen, as it was affecting our relationship and my mental health!

After a couple of rants, we took action and here are some of the steps that worked for us in order to get things in order:

1. Stop the blame game: I realized that I was part of the problem and my husband was not the only messy one. Acknowledging this, gave some justice to my husband.
2. Compromise:  My husband wanted to get a stationary bike for the gym and I agreed to it, but he would need to take care of the mess in the garage in order to make space for it.  
3. Do something with things that do not provide a service anymore:  Since we do not have a “man cave” all my husband’s “treasures” are in the garage.  I realized that I’m attached to some toys/clothes of my children and it is hard for me to get rid of them.  However, in order to grow, you need to let it go.  Donate things, put up some deals on Offer Up or similar apps and whatever doesn’t sell, just get rid of it!
4. Keep a simple but efficient practice: After using things, put them back where you found them. This is big.  Seems simple, but it’s hard work if you do not have the habit!  But after the habit is in place, it’s easier to maintain things in order.

As a family with small children, our needs are constantly changing and evolving.  I have to accept that things are not always going to be in order and/or neat.  But I do feel very accomplished that in the past year, we all have developed better habits in order to create a space that feels safe and comfortable.  We have definitely improved our home environment, where we spend precious moments that bring us joy and empower us to have a healthier and happier life!